Laptop Retrieval
by Silver Eternity
Summary: Dark LORDS Silva's at it again! She needs to get her laptop back,but she's too busy so she sends a Summoned Clone- but what's this? Now there's TWO of them in the same universe? Sounds like trouble to ME....rated M just to be safe


Laptop Retrieval

[A/N] Yes my few loyal readers who give a damn what I write,it is the bragged-of sequal to Random Fandom!! No shit. Really,I mean it. Ah,screw y'all. Just read and find- *muffled boom* What the shit? Oh. OH DAMN IT, DEIDARA!! KIMBLEE!! YOU PUT THOSE DAMNED A-BOMBS _A-FUCKIN-WAY_ OR I WILL SKIN YOU BOTH ALIVE!! NO LARGE BOMBS IN THE HOUSE,HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU?! How in the fuck did you get them away from Anderson,anyway....? *goes to stop destruction of household*

* * *

Mixing,cooking,writing,and spellcasting all at once,Silva was rather busy. With all four arms and even her tail occupied,she blinked when she realized something was amiss. Checking her hands,it became apparent - her bottom left hand was taking notes longhand. It_ should've _been typing away on her laptop; after all,all her spell experiment notes and potion lists were in there. Shit,that's right,she lent to the Hidan and Kakuzu Originals around a week ago. Damn it,she REALLY needed the formulas stored on that thing (she was mixing up more Blue Bottle Brew,and if she added too much of any one thing the whole damn pot would explode) but if she left the potion alone now..... Visions of the gory aftermath made her wince. Looks like somebody's getting a mission. Tapping one heavy boot heel on the floor,she waited.

A few scant seconds later and a muscled hand pushed the door to the potions room in,a pair of cautious purple eyes peering inside. "Ya called,Master?" Silva looked at him,then back to her brew,and grunted. "I need ya ta go get m'laptop from yer Original." The Hidan clone blinked,then shook his head to clear it. "I'm sorry,Master,I think I must not have heard you right. What did you say?" Eyes never leaving the pot as she added ingredients,Silva made a low humming noise. "I need ya t'go retreive m'laptop. It's with yer Originals,so-" she tossed him a blood-red amulet,set in silver,"go t'that Naruverse an' git it fer me. Oh,an' ya have only three days t'do the mission,so don't dawdle."

Hidan flinched,then bowed obediently. "Yes,Master." Opening a portal,he swore he felt a spike of unease prickle up his spine. This mission did not bode well for someone......he just wasn't sure who quite yet. Stepping through the portal,Hidan followed the tug he felt pulling at his insides; after all,every summon was able to sense the location of thier Originals from up to a thousand miles. Weaving through the village he'd landed in,he paused when a familiar scent caught his attention. He _knew_ that smell...... following his nose to a nearby flower stall,he grinned upon seeing thier wares. Yes,it was that one flower his Master lisked best: small white bell shapes attached to a thin green stalk,and with amazingly strong smell for such a tiny thing. Lilly Valleys or whatever they were called. Fingering the tiny white bells,Hidan's eyes softened. Silva absolutely LOVED these,but it was only the beginning of Spring and the Real World (REWD) ones hadn't even begun to bud yet. He hadn't given her much affection as his Master and Maker as of late,too busy avoiding his assigned partner for this month. He hated that fuckin' horndog Dante,after all. He missed cuddling up to Silva's side as she read quietly or lounging in her lap while she leisurely fed from his neck to restore her energy and blood supply. Still absently stroking the plant,he looked up to the girl running the stall. "Hey,I'm on a mission now,but I want to get a few of these to bring home to my M-....friend. Can you hold about four of 'em for a couple days?" _Manners,_Hidan's thorough training scolded. "Um,please?" The girl smiled at him softly.

His order reserved and paid for,Hidan tracked his Original with a considerably lighter step. Now he was doing TWO things to please his Master! Axel and Grimmjow were gonna be so jealous when he got home! Maybe,just maybe,he'd even see The Smile. The one that always came unexpectedly,when She had been made happy deep in that place inside Silva where hardly anyone ever touched. The Smile that came from Natalie,from the Creator herself. His Master's Master. Busy fantasizing as he was,Hidan didn't notice his Original and his partner until he was literally on top of them- hell,he never would've known he'd found them at all if he hadn't tripped rather painfully over Kakuzu's outstretched legs. Getting to his feet with an irritated grunt,the clone rubbed his already-bruising shins and glared. "Honestly,I like your summoned self better,'Kuzu. He isn't such a fuckwad. Still a money whore though." Deciding to clarify his reason for being present,the clone continued. "Master Silva sent me ta get her damned laptop back,so you better not have sold the damn thing. And yes,I am a clone of Silva's making so don't even go there." Having thoroughly stunned the Originals,Hidan dropped into a crouch and waited,lazily examining his surroundings. Just because he was immortal didn't mean he didn't avoid painful,supposed-to-be-fatal things. After Kimblee blows you up about 30 or 40 times you learn that not dying can sometimes be more curse than blessing; you also become paranoid as all fuck.

The Original Hidan and Kakuzu,who had now finished a whispered conversation,had decided to see how this would play out. If this was simply an imposter under a henge,it would be apparent rather quickly,and on the off chance he really WAS sent by Silva they'd prefer not to piss her off. Her notes on Universal imbalances and too many dimensions (including which she would have to 'erase' to keep the balance) had convinced them that Silva,in short,was "She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Fucked-With". Rising from his seat,Kakuzu crossed the clone's line of vision to reach his pack; this was,unfortunately,a very bad choice. Kakuzu,at least the Original,was too cheap to pay for a masseur - as a result,he hadn't had a massage of any sort for nearly 73 years. Clone Hidan,like all of Silva's "pets",had been well and thoroughly trained. Being a young minor goddess juggling the work of not only a full Major Goddess but that of a venerated and well-established God as well,Silva needed to be relaxed or pretty much everyting would get screwed up and the Universe would unbalance itself out of existence; thus,her pets were trained to pamper- her Favorites most particularly. Being the one in charge of balance and judgement,Silva also insisted that whomever was with her at the time be pampered as well,so her pets and Favorites were quite well taken care of.

Hidan was a Favorite; one of his priveleges was serving Silva directly (a high honor indeed,reserved for the Favored of the Favorites,because Natalie had severe touching issues and by extension so did Silva) and this also included the pets with her at any given time. With Hidan serving and being served in equal measure,seeing tension in Kakuzu that mirrored what he saw Silva come home with almost every day triggered is training in a.......powerful and unusual way. The clone's hands glowed with chakra; Kakuzu's eyes narrowed; fingers spread; stitched muscles tensed in preparation for battle; with a low growl the clone pounced! Five seconds later found a very confused Kakuzu laid out on his stomach, shirt,hood,and mask missing; his wrists were bound closely to his waist with chakra strings,his ankles and neck tethered to the ground. Seated in the small of the larger nin's back,Clone Hidan snarled down at the miser even as strong,skilled hands kneaded the knots out of locked shoulders. "God fucking _damn_ it,Kakuzu,just because you don't wanna waste the fucking money is no excuse to let your muscles get like this! It's like a goddamned death sentance for a shinobi to be this fuckin' stiff- what the fuck's WRONG with you?!" The stitch-nin never got a chance to answer,the clone continuing to rant as knots were pressed into oblivion,tsubo (or pressure points) were kneaded,and the sore,tense muscle coaxed into relaxing. It was,in a sense,a small bit of Heaven.

When each and every muscle had been fiercely and thoroughly rubbed and relaxed and Kakuzu had been reduced to a limp puddle of exstacy,the clone gave a satisfied nod and got off him. Now,the Original Hidan had been watching this little spectacle in a state of shock,and was suprisingly subdued as he asked,"What the hell was that fucking about?" Popping one shoulder,the clone relied casually,"Master Silva trains us to take care of each other,and Kakuzu's my partner in the Mansion too. The habit was too deeply ingrained to resist. It's pretty much an instinct now." Having retrieved the laptop from Kakuzu's bag (the miser was in far too much pleasure to protest) Clone Hidan began to walk back the way he had come. In an almost bored tone,he added loudly,"Besides,'Kuzu is a wonderful mate - and he's the fuckin' _WILDEST_ lover right after a massage." Back in the clearing,Original Hidan's eyes widened impossibly large as is shrill scream(screech) echoed throughout the whole forest. "SAY FUCKING _WHAT_?!" Leaving the Originals to thier "bonding time" [insert reader and author snickers and evil laughter here] with a grin,Clone Hidan broke into a dash and disappeared.

* * *

Two days later,at about two in the afternoon,Silva was surprised to look up from her sewing (Kimblee and Deidara had another 'Who Can Make the Biggest Boom' contest and the two had blown both their arms off....._AGAIN_) to find a bunch of fragrant flowers in her face. Lilly of the Valleys, specifically. Taking the flowers,the young Goddess smiled softly,not The Smile but a smile none the less. Hidan felt a tiny pang of sadness- he'd not made Natalie happy,and he'd tried to so hard -but didn't let it stain his aura or his face or even his thoughts. "Thank you,Hidan. I....I appreciate the thought." After taking her laptop from him,she paused to smell the flowers and an even softer smile- no,NO,it was THE Smile! -came out,accompanied by a slightly higher,but rougher,voice than Silva's. "I love these,honey......I'm glad you remembered." Hidan blushed shyly,drew on the wood floor with the toe of one sandal,and replied demurely that it made him happy to see Her happy. He knew Axel,Kenpatchi, Grimmjow and all the other Favorites would beat the absolute shit outta him later out of jealousy,but the Sad One had smiled......._smiled!_

Staring absently at The Smile,he decided it was worth it.


End file.
